Sunday, August 07, 2005
One evening early in our marriage Kathy asked if I would walk the dogs, offering to, well, you know, if I would. I got pretty pissed off -- I said that sex isn't a commodity, a weapon, or a tool. If you'd like to make love, that's great. If you want to ask me to do something, ask. But I didn't like tying the two together. I don't think Kathy had thought about it before, and when I put it that way, she agreed with me. To the best of my knowledge, sex has not been used as anything other than an expression of love (or horniness) between us ever since. I bring this up because recently a friend stated in an e-mail that "the notion that sex shouldn't be used to alter behavior by men or women is a purely romantic notion and not in my view based on any reality we mere human beings are capable of achieving." Am I delusional, is my relationship with Kathy truly unusual, or is my friend too jaded for her own good?