Sorry I haven't been posting much lately -- I seem to be going through a burnout stage that I imagine most bloggers have to work through. Either you're successful at getting past it, or your blog joins the millions of inactive ones. I hope to be in the former camp, but we'll see. I've also been traveling lots, which almost necessarily creates some missed days.
Regardless, I've definitely had a lot on my mind.
First off is the whole baby thing -- at what point do we throw in the towel with respect to trying to have children? We tried naturally for several years, we tried IUI, and now we've tried IVF. We can use the two frozen embryos we have, we can try IVF again, we can adopt, we can use donor eggs, donor sperm, and donor embryos. Kathy is still young in fertility terms, so we could try one or several of these options over the next several years. While the remaining options seem boundless, however, our patience is not. There's a feeling of being in limbo for the past several years, and it's draining to remain in such a state. We'd like to move forward, either down the path without children, or the path with them -- we don't want to wait at that fork in our life road indefinitely.
We're going ahead with the two embryos, probably next month or the month thereafter, but we're not sure we'll do anything more after that. The thing is, if we're not successful using them, we'll have to figure out what to do next at that time -- we've found that planning doesn't work with respect to dealing with such emotional questions. And so we remain in limbo.
The other issue weighing on my mind at the moment is Katrina. FEMA is seeking federal employees throughout the government to be detailed with them, to work 30-day shifts dealing with the aftermath. I am interested in applying, though because I have none of the job skills/experience they're seeking (law enforcement, language, medical, etc.), I don't know if I'd even be selected. Regardless, I have concerns working for FEMA, not just because of the screw-ups they've had in getting the relief work going, but also because the description of the work with which we were provided in considering whether to volunteer (and stories I've read) suggest that FEMA is at least as concerned with protecting their (and the administration/government's) image as they are with helping people. I do want to help, but I wonder if I'd feel that I was helping, or would I end up completely frustrated, feeling that the long hours in rather unpleasant conditions were a waste of time?