She Doesn't Deserve This Shit

On March 15, the teacher's aide in Emelia's pre-Kindergarten classroom asked Emelia to move, and when she explained that she was allowed to sit where she was, the aide picked up Emelia by the arm and moved her to where he wanted her to sit, leaving a bruise where he grabbed her.

The weekend following the incident was one of concern and anxiety, as we heard nothing from our inquiries and complaints. On Monday the 19th, I went to the school alone, because if the aide remained in the classroom, we weren't going to let Emelia go. Fortunately, the assistant principal told me that the complaint was being handled, and that while it was pending, the aide would not be in the classroom. I called Kathy to let her know that she could bring Emelia after all.

The teacher has been ecstatic since the suspension started. Only after the incident did we learn that (1) there was an injury-causing incident with another student last semester; (2) the aide allegedly has been bullying the teacher in addition to the students; and (3) allegedly the aide has been doing very little in the classroom, leaving the first-year instructor to do almost everything. Last Monday Emelia told us about her day in far greater length and detail than she ever has. On Tuesday night Kathy noticed that Emelia wasn't grinding her teeth in her sleep.

Kathy and I have established three priorities in our efforts to deal with this incident. First, that he no longer be in Emelia's classroom, and we seem to have achieved that objective. In conversations with the teacher, she has indicated that the principal has let her know that regardless of the outcome, the aide would no longer be in her classroom. Second, that he no longer be at Emelia's school. That issue has not been resolved yet, but we are hopeful that the investigations (District school board, criminal, and Child Protective Services) will result in this happening -- meeting this objective is made more likely given that the incident was witnessed by the school's visiting artist. Third, that he no longer be employed in a position, inside or outside of DCPS, that places children in his care. I don't think this will happen, but we are doing what we can to achieve this objective as well.

Once we learned that the aide would no longer be in the classroom the anxiety that we have been feeling mostly went away. While we can't help but question why the aide was in the classroom despite the problems the school was made aware of previously, at least there has been no serious injury to anyone.  

For what it's worth, this is the second incident we've had with a teacher at Emelia's school. Last year, while Emelia's class was between teachers, the substitute decided to make an example of Emelia after she had an accident by making her stay in her pee-soaked clothes all day long. That teacher is no longer a substitute for DCPS. 

Two teachers in less than two years -- hopefully, there won't be any others.

A Letter to Emelia and Hannah

We take photographs for all sorts of reasons, but mostly to capture a moment in time. In this post, I will try to capture a moment in time of roughly 72 hours. It's not about the family, though everyone is part of it; instead it's about your father, as he is at age 43, an age that probably means little to you personally when you'll read this, but also an age/time in my life that you'll have scant memories about me as a person. I can't say that these are typical days -- I think it might be the first time since we've become parents that I went out three days/nights in a row. To Hannah I apologize -- you're only two at the time these events transpire, and so even as our interactions are wonderful, they're not particularly memorable, or more accurately, distinctive for purposes of this letter. As such, Emelia features more prominently than you do in this letter.

This has been a winter of no winter. I had used my heavy coat for three days of the entire winter. It was in the 40s on Saturday, but in the 60s on Sunday, and the 70s and 80s Monday through today.

On Saturday night, I went to DC United's season opener, a game that ended in disappointment because despite getting outplayed, the scoreless draw was in reach until an added-time goal sent the team to defeat. In the stands we engaged in gallows humor to pass the evening, a sadly too familiar past time at United games these past few years. Still, it was nice to be with the gang again after the five month offseason, even though I have little to do with them outside of United games.

Sunday morning as we were adjusting to Daylight Savings we all went to visit Sharon, Gary, Andrew and Declan for breakfast, a visit that was pretty enjoyable. When Hannah showed signs of needing her nap, I drove everyone else home, and headed to a beer tasting. I had just lost 19 pounds from a diet I went on at the start of the year, and this was my first local tasting in several months. Between cuts in my personal budget and my waning interest in beer gatherings/ratings, this was something of a treat. While there I watched FSU defeat UNC to give the team its first ACC championship. And I tried a lot of beers and ate way too much food. A beer tasting doesn't involve a lot of volume -- most beers I only drank a couple of ounces, so that the 35 or so beers I drank was about a six-pack of volume -- that's a sizable amount, but not so much when the consumption was spread out over 7 hours. As with the soccer match, it was enjoyable even though I'm not close to any of the other attendees. Where once I had close ties to some of the local beer geeks, the ones I've cared about have moved or moved on, and the current regulars generally aren't people that I'd ever do something socially with outside of tastings.

I got home at a decent hour -- Kathy was still up, and we chatted a bit before we both went to sleep. Alas, at 12:30 or so, Hannah woke up because her pacifier fell out. Kathy responded to it, I woke up when she went to attend to Hannah, and I never could fall back asleep. Two hours of sleep on the night left me pretty tired the next day. I had had visions of going to a concert on Monday night, but lacking sleep and a ticket to the sold-out show, I gave up on that. At 4pm, however, I was offered a ticket, and went to an amazing show. Back around 11, I still stayed up another hour or so because I was so pumped up from the show. Six hours of sleep left me in pretty bad shape in light of the sleep shortage the previous night as well.

Tuesday morning I had the pleasure of walking Emelia to school. We both were enjoying the fantastic weather on the walk. As is often the case, our conversation was all over the place. It started with my trying to convey how wonderful the concert experience was, and Emelia claimed to completely understand, because she's five. I told her that we would go to Floydfest that summer, where I looked forward to sharing some music experiences with her. At some point the conversation shifted to dreams/goals, and Emelia informed me that she intends to marry her best friend (for the past two weeks), Timothy. I asked what happened to Jonah, as she had said she was going to marry him just a couple of weeks ago. Emelia explained that when our families had last gotten together, Jonah indicated that he probably was going to marry someone at his current school, so Emelia had set her sights elsewhere. And it made sense to me that she would select Timothy because Kathy had just recently explained that she was married to her best friend. Emelia had been changing her designated best friend quite frequently, and I couldn't help but wonder whether/how Kathy's statement was coloring Emelia's perspective.

On my way to work afterwards, I had a most unusual experience. As I was leaving the L'Enfant Plaza metro station, a man was going down the up escalator. He stopped a little in front of me, and I walked past him. A few seconds later a second man was walking down the up escalator, and he was completely naked. He had a shirt or something loosely covering his genitals, but that was about it. I have no idea what was going on, only that I had no interest in trying to find out. His shoes and the rest of his clothes were at the top of the escalator, unable to follow the conveyor as it slid underground.

Tuesday at work (yes, I was working amid all these activities), we released a big item that I had worked on for a couple of years. I had a bit of pride in completing it, but the greater feeling was one of relief. It was a challenging, difficult, and often frustrating process, and I was glad to leave this portion of the project behind.

Tuesday evening, when I got home, Kathy was set for us to enjoy the nice weather to go to Lincoln Park for a picnic (Emelia's idea). I was beat and not up for it, and Hannah was showing signs of being tired too. Still, I did my best to rally and we went. Hannah insisted on holding both Kathy's and my hands on the walk over, and got upset when we weren't doing that. At one point she threw herself to the ground in a decidedly two-year-old way; unfortunately she's more used to the floor at home, and hurt herself on the harder surface. After a few cries she rebounded, and we got to the park a couple of minutes later. We stayed there for a few minutes, but it started to rain, so we hurried back home and ate the rest of the picnic on the living room floor. Hannah went to bed shortly after that, and with that, the 72-hour window into my life has elapsed.

New Multitudes

After two hours of sleep on Sunday night, there was no way I was going to go to the Birchmere on Monday to buy a scalped ticket to the sold-out New Multitudes show. My craigslist posting in search of a ticket had yielded no responses, and between my exhaustion and the likely fruitlessness, I was giving up.

Then at 4:00pm, I got a text asking if I was still interested, and my fatigue was washed away by the adrenaline my body started producing -- I was going to the show!

Things kept getting better once I committed to going. The seller wanted $50, but I got there before he did and someone outside was selling a ticket for face ($30), so I jumped at it. I spotted a single seat in the middle of the room, directly in front of stage right -- perfect. In response to my asking if the seat was available, I got a response that it was, but that I should be warned that the conversation was going to be about beer.

Bobby Bare, Jr. offered an entertaining opening set, mixing his songs fairly evenly between the depressing and the absurd, occasionally serving up songs with a healthy heaping of both qualities.

As for New Multitudes, let me start off by telling who they are, because the name isn't familiar to many people yet. For that matter, if I had recognized the name early enough, I probably would have bought a ticket before it sold out and saved myself a lot of anxiety. Billy Bragg and Wilco plumbed the Woody Guthrie archives a decade ago to compose songs from lyrics that evidently had never been set to music, resulting in the highly acclaimed Mermaid Avenue albums. Now, in honor of the centennial of Guthrie's birth, a different set of musicians have released a different set of Guthrie lyrics they've set to music. New Multitudes consists of Yim Yames (My Morning Jacket), Jay Farrar (Uncle Tupelo, Son Volt), Anders Parker (Varnaline), and Will Johnson (Centro-matic). Despite my long-held appreciation of the music produced by the first three of those men (nothing against Johnson, I'm just not familiar with his music), I had never seen any of them perform.

The first half of the show was a live performance of the 12 songs on the New Multitudes album, in the order in which they appear on the album, with virtually no dialogue. Each performer led the band for three songs. Johnson was mostly behind the drums, but on the occasions he stepped out from there to take the lead, Parker squeezed his rather large frame into the small space on the stage for the drummer. Meanwhile, Yames mostly played bass, and Farrar stayed on guitar. I'd only played the new album a couple of times prior to the show (I purchased the deluxe version, which includes 11 additional songs performed by Farrar and Parker, further diluting my familiarity with the new album). At times the compositions didn't involve all four band members, leaving one or two of them to stand uncomfortably idle for a couple of minutes. Still, their evident comfort with each other during the songs where they all performed overcame those awkward moments. Highlights of this set included the Johnson-led "Chorine My Sheba Queen" and the Yames-led "Talking Empty Bed Blues."

Something that surprised me in this portion of the show was the expansion of the album versions in several instances, with the resulting jams leaning toward garage/psychedelic -- the live version of Yames' "My Revolutionary Mind" particularly stood out in this regard. Regardless, the differences from the album were quite enjoyable, giving me a further appreciation of the songs. At some point during the show I remembered that the collaboration between the musicians began as early as 2006, so that even though the songs are new to the audience, no doubt ideas have continued to percolate and be passed among them in the time since the songs were arranged.

Once the band had played the 12 songs from the album, they took a short break, after which each member came out to do a solo acoustic tune. For me, the highlight of the show was when Parker played "Song," off the 2001 Varnaline album Songs in a Northern Key. I've loved this album for many years and had hoped he'd play something off it, though I thought the odds were rather slim -- what a delightful surprise! I was silently screaming along as Parker played -- it was all I could do not to sing along to probably the quietest song on the night. For Americana, "Song" is a fairly electric song, but Parker's stripped-down acoustic version added a staccato element that gave the song a greater sound of urgency than the original.

Their solo acoustic numbers complete, the entire band came back out for five more songs. Each man led one of the first four songs from his own catalog of songs, before the band closed with Guthrie's "Pastures of Plenty." This was the band at its integrated best, particularly for Son Volt's "Bandages & Scars" and the Guthrie tune, the latter transformed into a sprawling 12-minute tune that had the band leave the stage one at a time, until finally Johnson was along on stage pounding the drums with a fierce intensity and backed only by the feedback playing throughout the final song.

All told, it was one of my favorite concerts ever, and it left me so pumped that after coming home I still needed another hour to settle down enough to drag my exhausted self to sleep 24 hours after I'd last awoken.

My Top Albums of 2011

2011 was a revelatory year for me musically, thanks to turntable.fm. For those who don’t know, turntable.fm is a website at which people play music for each other in a chatroom. That quick and dirty description doesn’t capture the effect it’s had on me. In the five months since I first checked it out, I’ve been introduced to a wealth of great music that I never would have discovered, including several of this year’s favorites. In addition, I’ve enjoyed getting to know many of the people that comprise the community there.

Without further ado, here are my Top 25 Albums:

25. William Elliott Whitmore -- Field Songs
24. Tedeschi Trucks Band -- Revelator
23. Steve Earle -- I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive
22. The Jayhawks -- Mockingbird Time
21. Gillian Welch -- The Harrow and The Harvest

20. Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit -- Here We Rest
19. Iron and Wine -- Kiss Each Other Clean
18. Deer Tick -- Divine Providence
17. Old 97’s -- Grand Theatre, Vol. 2
16. The Mountain Goats -- All Eternals Deck

15. Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside -- Dirty Radio
14. Gary Clark Jr. -- The Bright Lights EP
13. Wye Oak -- Civilian
12. Low -- C’mon
11. Charles Bradley -- No Time for Dreaming

10. Middle Brother -- Middle Brother
9. Abigail Washburn -- City of Refuge
8. Ivan & Aloysha -- Fathers Be Kind EP
7. The Low Anthem -- Smart Flesh
6. Wilco -- The Whole Love

5. Dawes -- Nothing Is Wrong
4. Drive-By Truckers -- Go-Go Boots
3. Fleet Foxes -- Helplessness Blues
2. Frank Turner -- England Keep My Bones
1. The Decemberists -- The King Is Dead

To hear tracks from these albums, in addition to other tunes I’ve enjoyed in 2011, you can check out this Spotify playlist.

My Favorite Music of 2010

My top 25 albums of 2010:

25. Romany Rye -- Highway 1. Looking Back Carefully. I probably shouldn't include this, as I haven't actually heard it in its entirety. Then again, if I were able to hear all of it, it probably would be much higher up in my list. Daytrotter has a 4-song set you can check out.

24. Laura Marling -- I Speak Because I Can. Young English folk singer with a gorgeous voice. Especially check out "Blackberry Stone."

23. Richard Thompson -- Dream Attic. On first listen I didn't think much of Thompson's latest offering, but that speaks more to his ability to create magnificent albums than any failing of this particular one. Here, Thompson releases a set of new songs recorded in concert, and while no one song stands out, it's nevertheless a strong set.

22. The Head and the Heart -- The Head and the Heart. There are several tunes that stay with you on this debut album, perhaps none more so than "Lost In My Mind."

21. The Sadies -- Darker Circles. I've yet to be disappointed by an album by The Sadies, and while this one isn't the equal of 2007's New Seasons, which was also produced by The Jayhawks' Gary Louris, there's plenty to enjoy. Like "Cut Corners."

20. Jónsi -- Go. Completely outside what i usually listen to -- it's way too happy, electronic, and even somewhat ethereal. Still, I really enjoy it. Here's "Go Do."

19. Broken Bells -- Broken Bells. I'm a sucker for James Mercer's voice, and Danger Mouse did a great job of constructing a sound showcasing it in a way that's distinct from Mercer's work fronting The Shins.

18. Freedy Johnston -- Rain on the City. Freedy Johnston had one semi-hit over a decade ago, "Bad Reputation." He never stopped making music, even though he hasn't entered the public consciousness in the intervening 16 years. And we're the richer for it, because he's come out with a great album well worth one's attention, especially if you appreciate the Marshall Crenshaws of the world.

17. The Acorn -- No Ghost. To me, The Acorn evokes The Talking Heads, even while forging its own identity. Have a listen to "Restoration."

16. Drive-By Truckers -- The Big To-Do. DBT came out with another solid album in 2010. The Big To-Do doesn't make me forget Southern Rock Opera, but it grows on me a little more every time I play it.

15. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club -- Beat the Devil’s Tattoo. I could play the title track every day for a year and not grow tired of it.

14. The Hold Steady -- Heaven is Wherever. Yes it's a good album and deserves to be on this list. No it doesn't deserve higher than this, and it doesn't compare with either Boys and Girls in America or Stay Positive.

13. Band of Horses -- Infinite Arms. BoH gets a little more poppy with this album, but once I adjusted my expectations away from another Cease to Begin, I found myself really getting into it. Here's "Laredo."

12. Black Prairie -- Feast of the Hunters' Moon. I confess that I learned about this band from a FaceBook ad, but I'm not sure why it came to that, given that three of their members are also with The Decemberists. All that Gothic/Gypsy/Bluegrass sound without Colin Meloy's voice in the lead. You can listen to some of it at their website.

11. The Gaslight Anthem -- American Slang. No surprise here, as The Gaslight Anthem produced another fine album. Sure there's plenty of Springsteen in their sound, but there's some Clash too.

10. Arcade Fire -- The Suburbs. Speaks for itself (and you already know about it anyhow).

9. Deer Tick -- The Black Dirt Sessions. Incredibly intense album. Wonderful.

8. The Mynabirds -- What We Lose in the Fire We Gain in the Flood. It's hard to pick one song to encapsulate this album's Dusty Springfield (and more) elements. Fortunately, there's a Daytrotter Session, so I don't have to.

7. John Jorgenson Quintet -- One Stolen Night. Gypsy jazz has made me happy from the first time I heard a Django Reinhardt song, and John Jorgenson is one of the premiere musicians keeping this style alive and well. Here's "Red on Red."

6. Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings -- I Learned the Hard Way. One of my favorite things about Jones's music is that even though I expect each album to sound just like the last one, and that expectation is realized, each album sounds completely fresh. Maybe it's because she's the only artist I'm listening to regularly (apologies to Fitz and the Tantrums) in the Motown genre. Regardless of why, the title track shines.

5. Futurebirds -- Hampton’s Lullaby. The languid opening track, "Johnny Utah," sets the tone for my favorite debut album of the year. The album evokes My Morning Jacket's early work, but the Futurebirds certainly have their own identity.

4. Josh Ritter -- So Runs The World Away. A good album filled with many thoughtful and engaging songs, SRTWA nevertheless lacks anything comparable to Ritter's best works. Still, it does contain my favorite video of the year (admittedly, I don't watch many of them), "The Curse."

3. Delta Spirit -- History From Below. I don't have a favorite song for this album -- I like it all, from the rocking "Bushwick Blues" to the mournful 8-minute closer "Ballad of Vitaly," and have found myself playing it frequently from the moment I got it.

2. The National -- High Violet. Of all the bands whose new albums I was most looking forward to in 2010, The National was the one that best delivered. Their previous album, Boxer, was their most successful album because, rather that differing much from its predecessors, it was a culmination of the band's sound. With High Violet, The National ventured beyond the comfort zone it had established, and succeeded wonderfully in doing so.

1. The Tallest Man on Earth -- The Wild Hunt/Sometimes The Blues Is Just A Passing Bird. One fantastic album and one fantastic EP, both by the same person in the same calendar year. I've yet to figure out how I can be so mesmerized by his voice and his lone guitar, to the point where I can listen to him for hours. But whatever the cause is, it made it easy to choose the top album(s) for 2010.

Ineligible but Worthy:

Mumford and Sons -- Sigh No More. I didn't discover this album until this year. Had it been released in 2010, it would have been in my Top 10.

Some other great songs (from albums that didn't crack my Top 25):

• Ben Sollee and Daniel Moore Martin -- "Something, Somewhere, Sometime"
• The Black Angels -- "Telephone"
  
• The Corin Tucker Band -- "Doubt"
• The Deep Dark Woods -- "Silver Ships of Andilar" (Townes Van Zandt Cover)
• Dr. Dog -- "Nobody Knows Who You Are"
  
• J Roddy Walston and the Business -- "Don't Break the Needle"
• The Love Language -- "Heart to Tell"
• Mimicking Birds -- "Burning Stars"
  
• The New Pornographers -- "Crash Years"
  
• Samantha Crain -- "Lions"
• She & Him -- Pretty much any song from Volume Two. Individually they're gems, but collectively they make an album that's too twee for me to enjoy.
  
• Ted Leo & The Pharmacists -- "Even Heroes Have to Die"
  

Hide-and-Seek with a 3-Year Old

"I'm going to play hide-and-seek with the grown-ups. Try and find me."

Emelia runs upstairs, and closes her door. Kathy and I count from 10 backwards as she requests. The giggling commences as Kathy and I walk upstairs. We announce where we're looking as we walk the upstairs rooms.

"I'll look in the front room. No, she's not here."

"I'll look in our bedroom."

The giggling continues unabated.

"She's not in the bathroom."

"She's not in the linen closet."

"She's not in our bathroom."

"She's not in the washing machine."

"There's only one more place to look -- her bedroom."

We open to door to a giggling, quivering mass under a pink blanket on her bed.

"Is she under her bed? Nope."

"I bet she's in her dirty clothes pile -- nope."

"She must be in her dress-up bin. No, darn."

"Maybe she's in her diaper bin."

"That's too stinky -- if she's in there, I'm not looking."

Giggling, giggling.

"Is she in her bed?"

Kathy rips off the blanket. "Aha!"

Laughing, laughing.

"That was fun. Let's play again. I'll be easier to find next time."

And My Mind Begins to Grasp the Notion of Hell...

Yesterday, Kathy, Emelia and I spent the day visiting with our friends Gary, Sharon, and their son Andrew. We spent the day in shifts, rotating which two adults would watch the kids. When we got there, we stayed for a little while, before Kathy and I slipped out for lunch. Upon our return, Kathy and Sharon went out for a movie, and when they got back, Gary and I walked over to my new favorite beer bar, ChurchKey.

There's something wonderful about having a great beer bar in town, particularly when it's only a couple of blocks for where a friend lives (no matter how much I'd enjoy it, that it's not a couple of blocks from my own house is probably a good thing).

It's not like I hadn't been there recently; in fact, it'd just been Tuesday night. And when I woke up the following morning, I had a terrible feeling -- I had undertipped "my" bartender, a guy who always looks out for me whenever he's working. So I walked in with an extra $10 bill to hand him in case he was behind the bar. He was, but he wouldn't accept the money, and swore that we were fine. No problem -- after another afternoon of stellar service, we just added the $10 to the tip on this bill.

Even having been there just five days earlier, there were two beers on draft and one on cask that I hadn't yet tried. And the AFC Championship game was on the TVs. And it wasn't crowded, which is usually the case when I go in the evening (at least the waits to get in on a Tuesday night seem to be a thing of the past). So we were able to get a seat right at the bar.

And because it wasn't busy, we were talking with the staff a little more than usual. We could hear the music that was being piped in, and as I do pretty much every time, I exclaimed at how similar the selections were to my own choices. Not just the likes of the Shins, My Morning Jacket, Belle & Sebastian or even the New Pornographers, but even less familiar stuff like the Jayhawks, Stephen Malkmus, and Band of Horses. So Gary asked the staff that was present if it was a station, and if so, which one. And suddenly, a scowl appeared, on all of their faces. Someone explained that it was the owner's iPod, and that it was the same thousand or so selections on shuffle all the time.

The rest of the evening, my mind stretched to fathom the idea of being subjected to that, where slowly my love for great tunes would turn inside-out, and I would come to loathe the very music I once loved.

My Top New Beers of 2009

Spurred by Eric Gajdzis doing the same, here are my top beers of 2009 (I gave all of these a score of 4.1 or higher) --
1. Great Divide Espresso Oak Aged Yeti Imperial Stout (as delicious as regular Yeti is, this is even better)
2. Birrificio Italiano Tipopils (after hearing great things about it, this Pilsner actually met my expectations!)
3. Free State Owd Macs Imperial Stout (finally got to try it after many years of wondering if I would)
4. Les Vergers Lafrance Bouquet sur Glace (ok, it's an ice cider -- sue me)
5. Lagunitas A Little Sumpin’ Extra! Ale (Lagunitas makes a bunch of beers like this, but they keep showing that isn't a bad thing)
6. Laughing Dog The Dogfather Imperial Stout (I tried this and the Bourbon Barrel Aged version. I like this one quite a bit better)
7. Bockor Cuvee des Jacobins Rouge (this is a great Sour beer, and has been available on draft in DC for the past few months)
8. Amager Fru Frederiksen (RateBeer raters don't know what they're talking about -- the smaller beer to Hr. Frederiksen is the better one ;))
9. Peak Organic King Crimson (from Peak? damn that was unexpected!)
10. BFM Abbaye de Saint Bon-Chien Grand Cru 2008 (Trousseau Barrel) (BFM is hit and miss -- this is definitely another hit)
11. Otter Creek Imperial India Pale Ale (Otter Creek? What's going on here?!)
12. Mikkeller USAlive! (my highest rated Mikkeller, which is saying something)
13. Lost Abbey Veritas 004 (it may not be Isabelle Proximus, but it's still great)

My Albums of the Decade

Compiling "Best of" lists is a fool's endeavor, yet I persist. Today I offer my favorite 40 albums of the Aughts (in alphabetical order). I bolded my favorite 10 of the bunch, but otherwise I don't see much point in trying to rank them -- suffice it to say that I hold these albums in very high regard. The rules I applied in making my selections -- no jazz, no live albums, no compilations, and no more than one album per artist.

Arctic Monkeys -- Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006)

The Avett Brothers -- Emotionalism (2007)

Belle & Sebastian -- The Life Pursuit (2006)

Blind Pilot -- 3 Rounds and a Sound (2008)

Bright Eyes -- Cassadaga (2007)

Calexico -- Carried To Dust (2008)

Neko Case -- Fox Confessor Brings The Flood (2006)

Clem Snide -- End of Love (2005)

Samantha Crain and the Midnight Shivers -- Songs In The Night (2009)

Death Cab for Cutie --Plans (2005)

The Decemberists -- Picaresque (2005)

Steve Earle -- Jerusalem (2002)

Kathleen Edwards -- Failer (2003)

Alejandro Escovedo -- A Man Under The Influence (2001)

Jay Farrar & Ben Gibbard -- One Fast Move or I'm Gone (2009)

The Flaming Lips -- Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots (2002)

Fountains of Wayne -- Welcome Interstate Managers (2003)

Sarah Harmer -- You Were Here (2000)

John Hiatt -- Crossing Muddy Waters (2000)

The Hold Steady -- Boys and Girls In America (2006)

Interpol -- Turn on the Bright Lights (2002)

The Jayhawks -- Rainy Day Music (2003)

Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings -- 100 Days, 100 Nights (2007)

Aimee Mann -- Bachelor No. 2 (2000)

Anaïs Mitchell -- Hymns for the Exiled (2004)

My Morning Jacket -- It Still Moves (2003)

The National -- Boxer (2007)

The New Pornographers -- Twin Cinema (2005)

Radiohead -- Hail To The Thief (2003)

The Sadies -- Favorite Colors (2004)

Richard Shindell -- Somewhere Near Patterson (2000)

The Shins --Chutes Too Narrow (2003)

Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros -- Streetcore (2003)

Sufjan Stevens -- Illinoise (2005)

Vampire Weekend -- Vampire Weekend (2008)

Varnaline -- Songs in a Northern Key (2001)

M. Ward -- Transfiguration of Vincent (2003)

The Weakerthans -- Reconstruction Site (2003)

Wilco -- Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (2002)

Yo La Tengo -- Summer Sun (2003)

The Agonizer

I did it with a camera purchase, and now I'm making that seem like impulse by comparison. I'm talking about my thinking about whether to buy a new car given that our family is expanding.

We have a 2002 Honda Civic, and that purchase was the fallout of Kathy's post-9/11 freakout. She wanted to have a way out of the city if there was another attack, and I went along with it, even though I wasn't comforted by the possibility of being stuck in traffic with the rest of the city's residents that were trying to flee. Having no car at that time meant that it would have been a royal pain for us to do a lot of comparison shopping, so in November 2001 we went to the Honda dealer, liked the Civic, and bought it then and there.

And for 90% of the time, the Civic is all we need. It's got us covered for any around-town travel. For leaving town, however, it's rough, though with the loss of Junebug, it's at least feasible. Once #2 arrives, however, anything more than a weekend requires a bigger car.* As would camping, as we were packed to the gills with just the three of us. And the Civic isn't as comfortable as we'd like, though I think that has more to do with our aging than the car's aging. Kathy was on board with getting a new car, but the truth is, I'm the one behind this push, and she'd be ok with whatever I decide.

So I started looking in August -- I didn't see many station wagons, which would have been my first choice, and minivans get such lousy gas mileage that we didn't want one, which left us looking for the most part of SUVs. Not that SUVs get great mileage, but at least some of them are in the 20s, which is way more than what the minivans get. We started with the Toyota RAV4 and Honda CR-V, but didn't jump at them because the price wasn't good enough to justify stopping our search. I started considering the Ford Escape, even though its storage was a bit less than the Honda or Toyota, and it's a noisier car, because it's cheaper and I liked the idea of buying a vehicle that's union made in the U.S.A. The Subarus, Outback and Forrester, were interesting, but we don't need 4-Wheel Drive and didn't like the cost it added or the mileage it subtracted. Then we read about the upgrade to this year's Chevy Equinox, and would consider paying more up front to get the best mileage in the class, but it's a larger car in exterior size, even though its interior is comparable to the Escape rather than the Honda or Toyota.

Finally, a couple of weekends ago, someone mentioned the Volkswagen Sportwagen TDI, and I was back to looking at a stationwagon. It's a fair amount more expensive than the others we were looking at, but its mileage is so much better, as in ~34 MPG. I test drove one a couple of weekends ago, and enjoyed it. Kathy liked the idea of being in a car rather than an SUV. And if the dealership had had one that had the features we wanted, it's likely we would have bought one right then.

But they didn't. And it's not an easy car to find -- they come off the lot about as quickly as they arrive, and most dealerships have back orders. No price negotiation, and the ones showing up are generally fully decked out with features I don't need and certainly don't want to pay for. So the price differential is even more than I'd originally thought.

And so here I am, back to wondering if we can live with the Civic for a little while longer, all the while considering the possibilities. One possibility is that we could get a roof carrier, even if we're not sure we could lift it onto the top of our car. All I know is that I need to agonize about this decision for a while longer, because that's what I do.
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* -- I recognize that "require" is a relative term, but you try telling Kathy that she doesn't need to pack so much stuff, or that Nora doesn't require her own seat if she comes.