Thursday, July 10, 2008

Confronting Fear

Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around
and I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
gonna stand my ground and I won't back down
-- Tom Petty, "I Won't Back Down"

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down
-- Chumbawamba, "Tub Thumping"

I went out to a beer tasting last night, back in Takoma Park. I didn't drive, because I haven't gotten my replacement license yet since the last one was stolen. So I took the Metro, which meant I walked home alone across Capitol Hill at 11:30 at night. It was a walk I'd taken many times before, but it has at least a small element of risk, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious covering that ground at night for the first time post-mugging. Even as I set out at the start of the evening, I kept thinking about the late-night walk that would be there for me at the end. I felt that the walk was necessary, to put myself back into what I consider a normal part of life -- life's too short to live in fear.

Two songs kept running through my head as I took the 20-minute walk, along with memories of my pounding heart in that pitch dark garden in Prague.